You Rescued Me
by SoSmallWriter
Summary: A story of a tragedy that brought two loves closer together than they ever thought possible.
1. Chapter 1

Her heart was beating heavily in her chest as she jolted upright in the bed. All she saw was pure blackness and for a moment she thought it was happening again. Her throat felt constricted and she struggled to get out a ragged breath. Beads of sweat were forming on her face as sheer panic took over.

"Liv," Brian said gently, sitting up slowly, not wanting to frighten her any further. "It's okay, Olivia," he said keeping his voice calm and level. "You're safe. You're at my apartment. It's just you and me. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He looked at her in the dark and although he could only see her outline he knew the look that would be displayed on her face. It would be similar to the one she was wearing when he found her there...

"Bri?" It came out of her mouth like a soft whisper, almost unrecognizable.

"It's me, Liv," he assured her, "I'm right here. I'm going to hold your hand now, is that okay?" Brian watched as her head bobbed into a soft yes. He reached carefully for her hand and squeezed it gently, letting her know that he was right there and that she was safe.

Several minutes had gone by and Olivia seemed alright again. Her breathing had evened out and she had since leaned her head on Brian's shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, "I didn't mean to wake you up..." she averted her eyes over to the red neon numbers telling the time. 3:42. "Again."

Not wanting to get into a fight, Brian didn't comment on the matter. He had told her every night for the past few weeks that it wasn't her fault and that she shouldn't apologize. He knew it was hard on her but he wished she would just understand one thing... that it wasn't her fault.

"Do you want to try to go back to sleep?" Brian asked, "or I could make you some warm tea."

Olivia sniffled and then a lone tear escaped down her cheek. Brian felt it when it dripped onto his arm.

"Why are you crying?" he asked gently.

"I'm not," she lied, "that was just sweat."

"That's pretty gross," Brian said with a light tone to his voice. This made Olivia chuckle softly and it was the first time he had heard her laugh since the tragic event.

"How about that tea now?" Brian pushed again, knowing that Olivia wouldn't want to go back to sleep.

Brian had been seeing a therapist for the last couple of days, getting some help on how to be around Olivia. He wanted to help her in any way that he could. He talked with the therapist about things he could do to make Olivia feel more at ease and they discussed possible situations about what Olivia was feeling. He wished he could just take it all away from her. Everything that happened... she didn't deserve it. Nobody did.

Olivia followed Brian to the other side of his apartment where he went into the kitchen to start the tea and she went into the living room to sit on the couch. She crossed her legs Indian-style and rested her head in her hands. She let out a stifled yawn. She was exhausted. She could count on both hands the amount of sleep she had had in the past few weeks. It seemed like every time she closed her eyes she was back at that place...

"Do you want honey in your t-" Brian stopped mid-sentence when he walked into the room and saw that Olivia was sound asleep on the couch. He knew how tired she was and he didn't want to wake her. He carefully reached over her and pulled the afghan down to cover her up. There was no way he was going to leave her in there by herself just in case her sleep was plagued by another nightmare. He went to turn the tea pot off and then went to his bedroom to grab the comforter off of the king sized bed. He dragged it down the hallway and into the living room where he laid down on the floor next to the couch and went back to sleep.

After that night... the night it all happened, Olivia didn't want to be alone. When she was released from the hospital to go home she couldn't do it. She couldn't go back to the place where he had been. He had touched her things. He had destroyed them. He had ruined everything. She didn't have any clothes with her so the hospital loaned her some scrubs. Brian promised to take her by her apartment so she could get something a little more comfortable. When they got there she just stood outside the door.

"I can't go in there," she had said with tears pooling in her eyes.

"You don't have to," Brian said, "I'll run in and grab a couple of outfits. We can go back to my place."

Olivia nodded and waited patiently in the hallway for Brian to return.

Olivia had been staying with Brian since then and he was thankful that she had insisted on it. He didn't want her to be alone anymore than she wanted to be alone. He was feeling at fault. If he had went with her to the museum that morning then maybe she wouldn't have went into work. She never would have met that sadistic man.


	2. Chapter 2

A few hours later Olivia had woken up to the sun shining in brightly through the curtains. She looked around and remembered why she was on the couch. She was just about to swing her feet over the edge of the couch when she saw Brian lying right there on the floor, sound asleep. She sighed to herself. She knew that Brian would do whatever to make sure that she was okay but she wished he didn't have to. She wished he was asleep in their bed, with her lying next to him, uninterrupted by nightmares.

"When did you get up?" Brian asked as he popped one of his eyes open and saw that Olivia was sitting up.

"Just now," she answered, "why don't you go get in bed? It's still early."

"I'm fine," Brian said sitting up and wiping the morning gunk out of his eyes so he could see clearer.

After a few moments of awkward silence Olivia spoke up, "I wish you wouldn't have slept on the floor…"

"Liv… I didn't want you to be alone. I slept like a baby. If anything it helped my back."

Olivia scoffed, "Sure…"

Brian stood up and untangled himself free of his blanket. He sat down on the cushion next to Olivia and made sure to keep his distance. Sometimes she wanted and needed his touch but sometimes she needed her space. He figured now was one of those times. "Olivia, I want to help. I don't want you to be scared when you wake up in the middle of the night so if that means sleeping on the floor, then guess what? I'm going to be sleeping on the floor for a while." He looked over to see if he could read Olivia's face. Usually she would hide her expressions behind her long hair but that wasn't possible anymore…

"You shouldn't have to sleep on the floor," Olivia whispered through the coat of tears that covered her throat, "I shouldn't have to sleep on the couch just because… because…" She stopped when she realized that Brian still didn't know the extent of things that had happened.

"You can tell me, Liv," Brian said encouragingly, "It's okay." He reached out his hand in hopes that Olivia would take it. When she did it squeezed it gently.

Olivia took a deep breath before tucking her short hair behind her ear. "It's stupid…"

"It's not," Brian argued softly.

Olivia gazed down and focused her attention to Brian's hand wrapped around her own. "Your bed is… it's similar to the one that um… um…"

"So I'll get a new one," Brian said trying to mask his emotion. He knew he needed to be strong right now because he could see the tears brimming in Olivia's eyes. He had to be strong for both of their sakes.

"Bri?" She finally met his gaze.

"Yeah?"

"Can we stop by my apartment today?"

Brian was pretty floored by the question. She had been so adamant about staying out of it that he never thought she would go back. "Can I ask what for?"

Olivia swallowed hard, "I just need to go there. I need to get some things and… I don't want to go alone."  
"We can go together," he assured her with a gentle rub of his thumb over the top of her hand, "we can stop on the way and get breakfast. How does that sound?" Brian knew that being in a social setting around a bunch of people was still difficult for Olivia but she was coping with it the best she could. Brian's therapist had mentioned that maybe going out places with her for little stops like lunch and to the market could help her in the long run.

"It sounds nice," Olivia said with a bit of uneasiness to her voice, "I'm really craving a chocolate donut."

"Always a cop," Brian smirked.

While stepping into the café they were overcome by the smell of cinnamon and fresh brewed coffee. The placed seemed to be pretty busy with a line stretching from the register to the door. They stood in line side by side, with Brian's arm protectively around Olivia's back.

With the sun still rising to its peak in the sky, the sun shone brightly through the large glass window, cascading off of Olivia's face and giving her an angelic glow. In certain light you could still the see the fading bruises that still reminded him every day of what Olivia went through.

"You okay?" he whispered in her ear when he saw that she was shaking slightly.

"I need to get out of here," she said followed by a sniffle.

Brian nodded and guided her out of the building and into the fresh air where she took in a few deep breaths. She leaned against the building for support and closed her eyes tight. She hated this. She hated that she couldn't even wait in line anymore without having a reminder of what happened to her.

"What was it?"

"The cashier," she said opening her eyes, "he looks just like him…" A lone tear escaped down her face.

"We can go somewhere else," Brian said. There wasn't another café for a few blocks but he would walk around the whole city if it made her feel more at ease.

"Maybe we should just eat at home," Olivia said and Brian knew she that meant she wasn't ready.

"Okay," he nodded, "do you still want to stop by your apartment? We can go another day."

"I need to go," she said pushing herself off the wall with her hands.

Brian gave her a smile. She was so determined to get well and he could see how hard she was trying. He just wished it was easier. It wasn't fair for anyone to have to suffer such harsh cruelties.

** Next: Olivia goes into her apartment for the first time since the attack. Brian's learns a new piece of information about that night…**


	3. Chapter 3

"You don't have to do this," Brian voiced as he and Olivia stood outside in the hallway just before her apartment door. The dents in the door were still there from when Olivia had tried to get him to let go of her... When she looked down at them she was reminded of that night...

"I need my photo album," Olivia said weakly, "it has all my pictures in it and they used to help me sleep at night so, I need them."

Brian could tell by her voice that she was asking him to go get her photo album without actually coming out and asking. "Let me get it," he offered, "I'll be right back."

Olivia leaned up against the wall in the hallway while Brian made his way into the apartment. The first sight you saw was trash littering the floor and the smell of burnt metal assaulted your nostrils. He grimaced as he thought about what had happened there on that terrible night.

Instead of dwelling on everything that trashed the house, Brian went straight to Olivia's bedroom and found the album under her bed. He pulled it out and was just about to leave when he noticed the album had been tampered with. He opened up the cover and saw that all of the pictures were ruined... every last one of them. It looked like something had been spilled onto the pictures and when Brian brought it closer to his nose he could tell it was alcohol. He didn't know how he was going to break it to Liv. He thought of a quick plan and then exited the apartment, closing the door behind him.

"I didn't see it," he offered.

Olivia sighed, "it's there. I know it is. I'll go look..."

"Wait," Brian grabbed her arm gently, stopping her from going inside.

"I need that album, Bri," Olivia almost cried.

Brian stuffed his hands into his pocket and sighed. This was going to be hard for Olivia to hear... "Something was spilled... onto the pictures. They were all ruined." He kept his gaze down on the floor, trying his best to avoid Olivia's hurt facial expressions.

"All of my pictures of my mother were in there," she said in a voice just above a whisper. "Pictures of me and Calvin... I-I..." her voice was trembling and Brian could barely understand a word she was saying.

"I'm so sorry, Liv," was all he could think of to say. The next thing he knew Olivia was yelling as she turned toward the wall and drew back her fist.

"That bastard took everything from me! Everything!" Brian ran to her and stopped her hand before it connected with the wall another time. Olivia collapsed into him with hot tears streaming down her flustered cheeks. "He took everything from me..." she said through her sobs.

"I'm sorry, Liv," he repeated as he cuddled her gently, "I'm so so sorry." He kept whispering this into her ear until she calmed down enough to realize how much pain her hand was in.

"I can't believe I punched a wall," she chuckled lightly.

Brian forced a small smile, "According to Cragen that isn't the first time it's happened." He reached gently for her hand and observed the small bruise that was already forming. "Let's get you home and put some ice on it."

"Bri?" Olivia asked in a small child-like voice as she wiped the rest of her tears away.

"Don't even apologize, Olivia," Brian said sternly.

Once they were back at Brian's, he made sure Olivia was resting comfortably on the couch with her hand resting on a pillow. He took a pack of frozen peas from the freezer and wrapped it in a towel before sitting it on top of her hand.

"Ow," she grimaced.

"Sorry," he apologized, "I don't think it's broken but it's probably going to hurt for awhile."

"Just like everything else," Olivia whispered, hoping Brian wouldn't be able to hear her.

"If your ribs are still hurting then maybe we should call your doctor," Brian said, "he can refill your prescription."

"I'm fine," she lied through a sheepish smile.

"You're not," Brian argued gently, ready to have this battle now then when it was too late. "Olivia, I know you. You're bottling everything up inside and I wish you wouldn't because I'm right here. I'm here to protect you and love you, Liv. I can see that it's eating you up inside and it's going to continue to do so until you talk to someone." He took her unhurt hand in his and looked into her haunted eyes.

"I kept saying that I wanted Brian," Olivia responded with her eyes glossing up again, "He asked me... he asked me who you were," a lump caught in her throat and she stumbled upon the last word. Brian chaffed her hand between his, letting her know that he was there. "He said that you would n-never want to t-touch me again... because... b-because of what he..."

"He was wrong," Brian informed her with his heart growing heavy. He just wish he could take away all of Olivia's pain. Hadn't she been through enough in her life? She was a good person so, why did this have to happen to her? Why was she dealt the short straw?

"Every time I close my eyes I see him pointing the gun at my face," she sobbed, "I feel his hands forcing me to look at him. I just want it to stop!" She pulled her hand away from Brian's and brought it to her face, doing her best to hide her tears. Brian had saw her cry enough in the past few weeks and now she was sure he thought she was weak.

"He's never going to hurt you again," Brian said with tears now in his own eyes, "Never. I know that it's hard now... it will get better. It will. It takes time... you have to keep going to counseling and you can't bottle things up inside anymore. I love you and I am NEVER going to judge you. We're in this together, Liv."

Olivia sniffled and wiped the remaining tears away from her eyes. She was exhausted and it wasn't even noon yet.

"You're tired," Brian stated as if he could read her mind. "Try to get some rest. I'll be right here." He grabbed the afghan from the back of the couch and spread it out over her before kissing her on the forehead and then making his way to the recliner to watch some television. He knew Olivia slept better when there was some kind of sound in the room.

"Bry?"

"Yeah, Liv?"

"I'm really glad I'm not going through this alone."

"Get some rest," he said gently, "I'll make us some lunch when you get up."

Olivia closed her eyes and within minutes she was asleep. Brian knew he didn't have long until she would wake up, plagued with a nightmare so he needed to make this fast. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Nick's number.

"Amaro."

"It's Cassidy," Brian said casually into the phone, "I need a favor."

"Sure. What's up?"

"Olivia has a picture album back at her apartment. The pictures were ruined. It looks like Lewis spilled Vodka on them. Those were the only pictures Olivia had of her mom and if you could repair them in any way..." he took a breath, "I'd appreciate it."

"I'll do my best."

"Thanks man, bye."

"Bye."

Ever since that day when Brian walked into the precinct searching for Olivia, he and Nick had gotten over their petty arguments. They worked together and put their differences aside and because of that Olivia was now safe. While Olivia was in the hospital the day they found her, they had talked in the waiting room. They both apologized for their childish ways and agreed to get over their past differences.

As Brian looked over to Olivia sleeping, he couldn't help but remember her in that hospital bed.

_Her left eye was purple and swollen and her lip had been sliced right in the middle. Her arm was bandaged and her skin was very pale. He looked over her, letting his tears fall silently. She was alive. If they would have been any later she wouldn't have made it but, she walked out of there like a bad ass. She refused to be carried out on a stretcher. _

_ "I should've been there, Liv," he cried as he reached for her hand, "I should have been there!" He would have continued yelling, trying to make himself feel better but Fin entered the room._

_ "Has she woke up yet?"_

_ "Not yet," Brian informed as he wiped his tears and put back his tough demeanor. _

_ "Yes I have," she mumbled as she struggled to get her eyes open. When they were finally able to see her brown orbs they both smiled gently._

_ "Hey," Brian said peering over her, "how are you feeling?"_

_ "I don't know," she answered honestly._

_ "The rest of the squad is in the waiting room," Fin said stepping closer to the bed, "I can send them home if you want... let them know that you're okay."_

_ Olivia nodded. She wasn't ready to face them yet. She couldn't, not yet. When Fin left she let out a deep breath and the tough exterior she had managed so far flew out of the window. _

_ "Liv," Brian whispered, unsure of whether he should wrap her in his arms or not._

_ "I was so scared!" she sobbed as her body shook vehemently. Tears cascaded down her face as the horrible images of what happened to her flashed through her head._

_ "Is it okay if I hug you?" _

_ Olivia would have been angry for the question but right now she understood that he was just trying to help her. She nodded her head so he walked closer to her and sat down on the edge of the bed._

"_I'm so sorry," he whispered into her ear as he rubbed her back gently. She rested her head on his shoulder and just cried until the pain medication took over again and she fell into a slumber._

"I want to live..." he heard her mumble, "please..."

He turned his attention to her restless figure on the couch and turned the television off. "Liv," he said, "Olivia, wake up. It's me, Brian. You're at my apartment. You're safe. Open your eyes, okay?" He climbed out of the recliner and made his way to Olivia's side, gently calling her name and trying to wake her.

"I was there again," she sobbed into his shirt.

All Brian could do to sooth her was to rub the small of her back and just hold her until she felt her feet on the ground again and stopped crying. It was a routine that sadly he was getting used to...


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: Pretty heavy stuff in this chapter.**

It had been three weeks now and slowly but surely Olivia was feeling a little more at ease in her own skin. Her bruises were very faint and almost completely healed. She had been going into the precinct for a few hours a day and completing some paper work so she wouldn't fall behind. She knew everyone was walking on eggshells around her but she was going to keep quiet. She was actually grateful for them. All of them. The whole precinct had worked together to find her before it was too late.

"Hey Liv," Cragen said casually as he walked up to her desk and stood beside her chair.

"Hey," she responded as she scribbled away onto the paper on her desk.

"Lt. Tucker is here," Cragen said quietly so the others couldn't hear, "he says it's time to give your statement." Cragen had been putting it off for as long as he could and hoped that with time it would become easier for Olivia to say. Now Tucker was here though and there wasn't putting it off any longer.

Olivia dropped her pen and swallowed the lump in her throat. She felt the knots in her stomach tie and the back of her throat burn. "Tucker's taking my statement?"

"No," Cragen assured her, "he brought someone from another precinct. It's a young woman and she reminds me a lot like you. I told Tucker that you might want to have Brian in there with you and he says that's okay."

Olivia nodded and shifted her gaze downward. She had taken thousands of statements from thousands of victims and each time another little piece of her heart broke. This was different. She was on the other side of the table now... she was the victim... she was the one who the cop would sympathize with.

"Give me five?"

Cragen nodded and stuffed his hands into his slack pockets, turning to walk away. He knew how strong Olivia was but in a way that had changed. Lewis had taken a big part of her... of who she was... and she was still working on gaining that back. He wasn't ready to listen to the details of what happened while they were rushing through the city trying to locate her. He knew the minimum but knowing everything was different. This was Olivia. This was the closest thing he had to a daughter and the best detective he had ever had the pleasure of working with.

Olivia made her way to the break room where she grabbed a cold bottle of water from the refrigerator and took a big gulp of the cool liquid to sooth her throat. She pulled her cell out of her back pocket and dialed Brian's number.

"Everything okay?" Brian asked as soon as he picked up the phone. He knew that Olivia wouldn't call him while they were both at work unless it was important.

"Tucker is here," she explained, "he brought someone to take my statement."

"Do you want me to be there?"

"No... I just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to make our lunch plans."

"I'll stop by the precinct on my break, okay?"

"Okay," Olivia whispered as the tears caught in her throat. She did want Brian there but she didn't want him to know everything that happened. It was better if she told him on her own time and not when she was talking to the police.

Brian and Olivia told each other they loved each other and then Brian had to get back to work in order to make it in time for his break and Olivia had a statement to give. She took one last drink of her water before screwing the cap back on and making her way into Cragen's office.

"I'm ready."

Tucker turned around to look at the detective who he had been keeping an eye on for years. He never imagined that this would happen to Detective Benson and he was saddened that he had to do this.

"This is Miranda," Tucker said pointing to the young red head that couldn't have been a day older than twenty-five, "she'll be taking your statement and if it's alright with your captain, that can happen in here."

"You can have the room," Cragen nodded to Olivia before grabbing a few things off of his desk and following Tucker out into the squad room.

"We can start whenever you're ready," Miranda said as she took the seat opposite Cragen's desk and Olivia. She clicked her pen open and held it inches away from the yellow legal pad.

Olivia took a deep breath and let her eyes wander around the room, looking for anything to focus on. "I don't... I don't exactly know where to start," Olivia admitted quietly.

"Why don't you start just after he tied you to the chair," Miranda said as gently as it could be said.

Olivia nodded and folded her hands in her lap, fidgeting nervously. She was now wishing that Brian was with her because she was sure it would be easier with him by her side. "Uh... he tied my hands behind my back," she began softly as the scenes played through her mind while she spoke them, "with rope. I could feel it digging into my wrists..."

Miranda nodded at Olivia to continue as she scribbled away on her pad of paper. She could see how difficult this was for Olivia and she had been advised before hand to just be patient.

"He stood in front of me with his gun," she said remembering the horrifying look on his face, "he told me that if I didn't cooperate he would shoot me right between the eyes." She took another deep breath and blinked away tears. "H-he kept playing with...with my h-hair. He told me that it was the nicest hair he had ever seen." She sniffled and reached up to touch her now shortened hair with her hand. She missed her long locks but she didn't miss the reminder they left. "He grabbed a bottle of alcohol and threw it at me. It... it spilled all over and um-um, it got in my eyes so I couldn't see." She was becoming quieter as she went on and more tears filled in her eyes and were so close to spilling over the edge. "Th-that's when he took me into my bedroom." The tears finally fell over and were now steadily streaming down her flushed cheeks as she thought about it. That horrible night would haunt her for the rest of her life. It was permanently etched into her memory.

"Then what happened?"

Olivia licked her lips and she could taste the salty tears. "He pushed me onto my bed," she forced out, "and he... he uh- he..." The memories were still all too fresh and she was barely handling talking about it.

"He what?" Miranda pushed with a small smile that was more of a grimace on her face.

Olivia just shook her head as the tears continued to cascade like raindrops during a thunderstorm. She could hear his voice in her head yelling at her to follow his orders and she could smell the alcohol on his breath. Her shoulders began shaking and she buried her face in her hands. "I need Brian," she sobbed, "please. Somebody call Brian."

Miranda quickly left the room and found Cragen, letting him know that Olivia was asking for Brian. Miranda knew that Brian was her boyfriend but that was about all she knew. Cragen dialed the number from Olivia's desk phone and hoped he would be able to make it.

"Olivia needs you," Cragen said into the receiver as Brian picked up.

"I'm on my way right now," Brian said and the next thing Cragen heard was the dial tone. He knew that Brian would arrive in a matter of seconds because there was no way he was going to let Olivia go through this alone again.

"Would like me to get you something to drink?" Miranda tried to ask the still sobbing Olivia.

"W-here's Brian?" she hiccuped.

"I'm here!" he said busting through the door with sweat drenched all over him. He was still in his work clothes and if it wouldn't have been for that he would have definitely gotten a ticket.

Brian rushed over to her side and took her sobbing form into his arms. Miranda left, giving them some privacy.

"It's alright, Liv," Brian whispered into her ear, "I'm here. It's okay."

Olivia just sobbed harder into shoulder. Her tears were forming a small puddle and Brian was sure they wouldn't let up soon. He wished that Olivia could just be finished with this; all of it. She shouldn't have to keep thinking about it because every time she did it sent her three steps back. She was trying so hard to move on!

"I just want to go home," Olivia whispered as her tears slowed down and her body shook a little less.

"Okay, Sweetie," Brian said as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. He took his jacket off and placed it around Olivia's shoulder, trying to give her a sense of safety. "Let's go." He wrapped his arm around her back protectively and kept her face buried into him, afraid of what Tucker would say if he saw them leaving.

"Wait!" Tucker said as he figured out that Nick and Fin were trying to distract him by keeping him talking. "Where are you going?!"

"She's going home," Brian seethed through gritted teeth. He didn't even bother looking back, he just kept walking forward with Olivia holding onto him tight.

Later that evening, Olivia was resting on the couch covered in a blanket and was just about asleep when there was a knock on the door. Brian looked at her and then hopped out of his recliner to answer it.

"Who is it?"

"It's Don."

Brian opened the door and in walked Captain Cragen with a look of pity on his face. That was the one thing Olivia hated. She didn't want people's pity.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay," Cragen said genuinely as he stood just a few inches inside the door with his hands stuffed into his coat pockets.

Olivia opened her mouth to say something but she closed it. She wasn't okay and she wasn't going to lie anymore. "No," she finally blurted as she sat up weakly. "I'm not okay. I force victims to give their statements everyday and what do I look like when I can't even give my own?" She had that high pitch edge to her voice again and her eyes immediately turned glossy pink.

"You look like someone who has been through hell and back," Cragen said honestly, "but I know that you can get through it. Olivia Benson you are one of the strongest people I know and I'm not just saying that; I mean that."

"Brian and SVU are the only things I have left," she said sadly, "what happens I can't work SVU anymore and I become so screwed up that Brian can't love me anymore?"

Brian, who was standing just feet away from Olivia, felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He didn't understand how Olivia could honestly think that he would leave her; ever. He was here to stay.

"The day you stop working SVU is the day you die," Cragen answered, "and I don't see that happening anytime in the near future."

"Uh... I gotta... I forgot something at work," Brian said heading for the table to grab his keys, "I'll be back soon." He took off without another word.

Olivia just sat there, dumbfounded. "See," she chuckled, "he hates me," she stated, "because I can't even sleep in bed with him. He hates me..."

"He doesn't," Cragen assured as he made his way further into the apartment. "He does not hate you, Liv. He loves you and if you can't see that right now then you will. You didn't see his face when he found out you were missing."

Olivia bit her bottom lip to stop it from trembling.

"He just needed to clear his head," Cragen went on to say, "this is a lot for him too and I know it's hard for you but all he wants to do is help you feel better. That's all he cares about. So to hear you say that he isn't going to love you anymore hurts him."

Olivia sniffed and attempted at wiping her eyes, "So what do I do?"

"You just let him help you."

"I know," Cragen assured her, "and Brian knows too. He'll be back shortly after he's cleared his head and everything between you two will be fine."

Olivia sighed and leaned back on the couch, letting her head gently thump the wall. She was tired; exhausted. Everything made her tired lately and she just wished that she could wake up from the nightmare her life had become.


	5. Chapter 5

**I just want to say thank you to all of the people reading this and it is much appreciated!**

Hours had passed since Brian had left and Cragen didn't stay long after. Olivia was left by herself as nightfall came around and her nerves grew worse. She was sitting on the couch with a blanket wrapped tight around her, trembling. All she could think about was what happened the last time she had been alone. She would hear a noise and jump ten miles, only to find out it was the regular buzz of the city. A lone tear slid down her cheek as she realized that she was changed. She wasn't the same Olivia anymore. Not at all.

The sound of footsteps grew heavy out in the hallway and Olivia held her breath. She kept trying to tell herself that it was just Brian coming home but her brain wasn't accepting it. She

feared that Lewis would walk through that door again and this time he would kill her. She heard the keys jingle in the lock but she was too far gone. Her whole body shook as her eyes grew wide and filled with tears. She could feel her heart leaping out of her chest and she could hear the thumping in her ears.

"Liv?"

Brian could see instantly the state of panic that Olivia was in. He dropped his keys to the floor and rushed over to her side, telling her gently that she was okay and that it was just him. Her breathing became more rapid and Brian's sweet nothings did nothing to calm her. He knew he had to do something but he didn't know what.

"Olivia," he said pleading with her to realize that she was safe, "look at me." Her eyes averted to his and slowly but surely her breathing seemed to slow. "That's it," he assured her, "you're doing great. I'm right here, Liv, I'm not going anywhere."

"I can't even stand to be by myself anywhere," Olivia whispered through her tears, "I'm a grown woman and I act like a little child…"

"Liv," Brian said, "what you went through was terrible. It's going to take some time for you to feel safe by yourself again but, you will get there. You will. I promise you that and I am going to be by your side the whole way. No matter how screwed up you think you are."

More tears glided down her red cheeks and she threw herself into Brian's arms. She never wanted to let him go. In his arms she didn't have a care in the world. In his arms nobody would ever hurt her because he would never let them. In his arms… she was Olivia again.

"I'm sorry I left," he said once Olivia's tears had begun to subside. "I just… I needed the fresh air."

"I'm sorry too," Olivia said quietly as she looked up into his eyes, "I wasn't thinking…"

Brian gave her a gentle smile before kissing her on top of the head and pulling the blanket down on top of them. They sat there like that for quite some time, just enjoying the cuddling. Olivia had seemed to crave his touch at some times since the whole ordeal. Brian was happy to give it to her. He would do anything she asked him to, even if that meant jumping off the Empire State Building.

"Can I ask you something?" Brian inquired.

"Sure," Olivia mumbled, she had almost been asleep.

"Do you promise to stop hiding things from me? When you're scared and have a nightmare and stuff like that… I'm here and I'm not going to judge you for anything. I just want us to be completely honest with each other."

Olivia nodded, "I promise," she said, "as long as you promise me that we can go to bed now because I'm exhausted."

Brian chuckled and nodded before standing up and scooping Olivia into his arms, "Anything for my queen."

"Anything?" Olivia mumbled as her head fell softly onto her pillow and her eyes fluttered shut.

"Anything," Brian reiterated.

"Make me breakfast," she said in a voice barely above a whisper. Brian could tell that she was too out of it to probably know what she was talking about but, if she wanted breakfast, she was going to get it. He began thinking about what they had in the cabinets that he could whip up. She hadn't had much of an appetite lately and Brian hoped to fix that as soon as possible. Tomorrow was also a day that Olivia went to visit her therapist and those days always seemed to be dreadful for Olivia. He wanted to start her day off with something special.

"I hope you like pancakes a la Brian," he chuckled to himself before crawling under the covers next to her and closing his eyes. This is how it was supposed to be; her and Brian going to bed peacefully and spending their night uninterrupted by terrible nightmares and bouts of tears. It wasn't fair…

_"The damn machine took my money," Brian said as he banged his fist onto the automatic coffee dispenser._

_ Olivia laughed quietly from her desk. "Machines do that."_

_ "It's not fair," Brian argued with a smile, "that was my last dollar."_

_ "Life's not fair."  
"I disagree," Brian said walking away from the coffee machine and closer to Olivia. "Life brought us back together. That's pretty fair."  
Olivia's face lit up. "Guess you're right," she said with a sparkle in her eye, "as usual."_

_ "You love it that I'm always right."_

_ "Mm, sometimes," she teased. _

_ Brian leaned over a stack of paper on the corner of her desk and planted his lips onto hers. They had just had their first kiss this morning but now he felt the need the need to kiss her every minute. "Love you."_

_ "Love you too," she said before turning back to her paperwork and going about her day like nothing was different. _

But that was before…


End file.
